“THE AGENT” E3S2

“A REALTOR CALLED REGINA”

Scene 1 - Regina conducts a client consultation:

INT. REAL ESTATE OFFICE EARLY AM

Regina (professionally) - Talk to me. How can I help? 

Client- My husband, well Ex-husband… (emotional) I don’t even know how to say it… I moved to Rochester for him. We got married, we built a life. We have… had, a beautiful marital home. But after we got married, everything changed. When I started seeking counseling to fix our marriage, things went from bad to worse. Long story short…

Regina - You don’t need to shorten your story… I have time.

Client - My husband, argh - ex-husband, well, we are fighting for our house. In the divorce I got the house and he immediately stopped payments on it. I am trying to sell it to liquidate debts, pay off the mortgage. Get a fresh start. I can’t afford the mortgage on my own. But I feel like he black listed me. I have tried to speak to other realtors and no one is taking my calls. No one wants to help me against, you know, my husband (flustered) Ex-husband.And I don’t know what he said —or who he called— but no one will take the listing. No one calls me back. No one even… entertains it. I went down the whole list in alphabetical order and no one wants to touch this house. Being that he is a broker himself and knows everyone in this town. I’m down to my last option - no offense!

Regina - Oh none taken: quite to used to it! - she smiles

Client - It seems like realtors here all protect each other, I don’t know if you feel that way?

Regina - I can’t say I do. I can’t say I don’t either (laughs).

Client - (confused)The house is being foreclosed on. I feel like my hands are tied. The clock is ticking, time is running out… I don’t want a foreclosure on my record, I don’t want my name being dragged through the mud. I work, I pay my bills on time. But I have to sell this house.

Regina - That’s understandable.

Client - I take it you don’t know my husband?

Regina- No, I’m what you would call an “outsider”. (Regina makes air quotes)

Client - So, where do we start… Have you had any foreclosure cases before?

Regina- No, this would be my first case.

Client -Your first? What have your other sales been like? Auctions? Short sales? Bank Owned?

Regina- No, none of those.

Client- But you’ve done normal sales? First time buyers? Rentals?

Regina- Nope, nothing like that.

Client- You are a Real Estate Agent, aren’t you?

Regina- Yes, absolutely! She smiles

Client- Oh, good! (client sighs of relief)
Regina- Well, technically speaking this would be my first foray into the real estate arena.

Client- First Time? What kind of real estate do you practice?

Regina- Up until now, real… personal affairs (laughs). (Pause. Serious) Any more questions?

Client- How… How long have you actually been in business?

Regina- Six, maybe seven… No, Six weeks now.

Client- Weeks? (desperate) I thought you’ve had your license for 3 years? What have you been doing for 3 years?

Regina- This and that… Mostly… preparing.

Client- Preparing for what?

Regina- For my first transaction.

Client- 3 years preparing? 

Regina- Tell me about it! To be honest I didn’t really do well with my first client.

Client- Oh?

Regina- With my second one neither.

Client- Third time's the charm, right…?

Regina- No, not for me. For me it was 25. 25 is the charm. Fingers crossed! I’m a slow learner but my grandma always told me there was nothing wrong with me.

Client- This just keeps getting worse (hands in her head, in desperation)

Regina- No, I think this is it. This is as bad as it gets.

REGINA GETS A PHONE CALL:

Regina- Excuse me, I have to take this call.

You are watching House.Roc Real Estate Entertainment

Regina takes the call in front of her client. Occasionally looks at client smiling in a soothing way.

Regina (angry)- I don’t need this. I swear to God I don’t need this. I got people just aching to send me to real estate jail. Some idiot calling my broker over a Facebook post. Offers that don’t get accepted, clients that ghost me after 6 months of counseling and 30 showings, realtors poaching my clients, realtors mocking my business plans, realtors inviting me for threesomes… Realtors, REALTORS! (gets up) I haven’t eaten in 5 days, I got no money. A dress code problem, a pending divorce, not to mention my biological clock, my career, half my family who just decided to stop speaking to me… And now you send me this! A third! Third Eviction Notice!!! Let me see, what else can I pile on, is there any more shit I can pile on top of the outcome of a single sale??? (hangs up, calmly)

Monologue to the Camera, like to a therapist:

Regina- Do you have any idea what it's like being a Realtor? Being so correct all the time, being so stifled by this dread of, of doing the wrong thing, of saying the wrong thing. To someone "Good morning ladies" and hearing "We’re a non-binary couple and your assumption is grounds for lawsuit" or saying, uh, "This could be a great nursery" and being told “we’ve been trying for 3 years but we’re barren”. Of showing the master bedroom instead of the main bedroom. and be “Cancelled” by everyone. Frozen in Real Estate hell: “you will never work in this town again.” Doors that don’t open, infested basements, clients that lead you on with no intention of buying anything. And Mold. Why is there mold everywhere? I rather just get punched straight in the face- again-then have one more deal fall through. We're all so terrified of embarrassment. That's why we're so... dead. Most realtors are dead, you know, they’re just these piles of corpses walking around the office. Is there anyone out there? Alive. I want to be, I'm so fed up with all this. (back to office scene)

Regina organizes some papers on a clipboard.

Regina- (to Client) -So, are we ready to sign some paperwork today? - Smiles like nothing happened

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