Diary of a Sailor Lost at Sea

How long can I stand this heat… Without being distracted, without looking away. If my weight is equally distributed between my feet I will reach balance. I will be safe. But I won’t move.

I am afraid of myself. Of what shores I can reach. What If I awaken a beast? What if discover Hell…

I dread these long days and the preoccupation. Mind burdens and presses for answers I do not have. I am feeling restless and alone. Waiting for a stronger mee to replace mee. Like walking through a gate with an unknown destination. There is nothing I can do. There is nothing I want to do.

It is frightening and calming. I am mostly frightened by the calmness in me.

A fear of getting “caught”. Of being sent back. Of not being worthy of my battle. A fear of going too far. Of already having gone too far.

What if it’s all wrong? What if it’s all bad? What if there is no destination I am capable of reaching? The sun scorches my skin to blisters and the tempests threaten to dispose of mee.

Looking at my journeys… nothing has been wrong. My maritime record is of Over Coming. Of achieving. Of Reaching.

My thoughts don’t help the mission. Why do these feelings stand in the way?

But peace is felt when we sit wit the restlessness and ask it to be itself. Accept it as an indication we are on the right path.

Success is lonely and I am tired.

But the shore… has reached my sight.

Saylor Abreu

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*The following advice is intended for mature audiences The purpose of this newsletter is to inform and entertain. Any similarity to reality is pure coincidence.

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I am Real Estate agent licensed in the State of NY with Keller Williams of Greater Rochester.