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The Importance of Being Mee
Indiana Joan & The Dream Catcher
“I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read in the train.”
I have never admired anyone as much as I admire myself. I can earnestly say.
Truth is rarely pure and never simple. And I will not pretend I am either.
In fact, I have created this very newsletter to finally admit my narcissism. I don’t think it’ll come as a surprise to anyone who already knows me.
My own grandfather’s name was Narciso, so in a way I need no introduction and I sure do not offer any explanation.
My biggest dream when I was younger was to come to America and be a Movie Star.
I pursued that dream… cough cough… I still am in pursuit of that dream, I should say.
I got myself into theater school, without my parents permission. I believe firmly that it is better to ask for forgiveness than permission when in matters of absolute importance. And although I had no previous experience, I was not wrong in my feelings. I loved being center stage. I loved the spotlight. I loved being the main character.
After graduating, I kept pursuing my so-called dreams ( I prefer to call them delayed realities). I moved to America by myself, NY to be exact, in 2011 with a hundred dollars in my pocket and a crazy will to make things happen. To see the world, to build empires…
When you’re a child, having dreams is cute. People ask you what you want to do when you grow up and they pat you on the head for being so creative. “You can be anything you want!” adults would tell me - “even a teacher!”
Even a teacher…
As you keep growing your dreams become more of a nuisance and by the time you are close to being an adult they’re seen as pure fantasy. Selfish, even.
But I had to remain true to myself, that was the only way for me.
Throughout my life, I have been called selfish, out of touch, an attention whore, self centered, narcissistic, arrogant, dumb… among other things. My desire to be seen and to feel special brought me to tears many times, left me alone and confused. Was I really to blame? WAs I really to blame for feeling like I wasn’t like all the others. I wanted more. I felt like I was more. Destined for more…
But today I understand… I understand something about myself, that… That through myself I understand others. I understand the world. What is most personal is most universal.
That God made us all from the same blueprint, His blueprint…
We can only see the world through our eyes, through our lens. And that self knowledge is the key to universal insight.
I am not alone in wanting to feel special. I am not unique in my wanting to take center stage. To be the main character in a book, to be immortalized in a painting. To be the object of fascination.
As I plunged deeply into this desire, I understood it means only a deep need to feel like our lives mattered. That we mattered. That our stories will be told. Our struggles, our victories, our existence, were not in vain. And If I desire that…I wonder who else may too?
What stranger out there is yearning to feel seen, or heard or blue check marked in some way.
From times immemorial, humans have been recording their presence. From paintings in caves, to pyramids, buildings, flags. We pray to whatever god seems like it’s listening and we will edify monuments to whatever entity seems to favor us.
We wage war to anyone who desires to eradicate us, we fight death itself. We write our own epitaphs, our own memoirs, We fight for our place on earth and pay heavily for a place in heaven.
We will do anything to be remembered. To be thought of beyond our own existence.
Why should I be any different?
*The following advice is intended for mature audiences The purpose of this newsletter is to inform and entertain and inspire. Please consult with a professional to receive advice
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I am Real Estate agent licensed in the State of NY with Keller Williams of Greater Rochester.