Mommie Dearest...

Day Care for Millennials

“The Greatest role of her life… was her life.”

about Joan Crawford

My Dearest Children,

What will follow is a collection of life advice. The very best of mee. From cooking, to cleaning, budgeting and everything in between. I realized that between my upbringing in a traditional Portuguese village, and my experiences in the world, I gathered a plethora of incredible useful life advice. Mommie advice. I have observed most millennials behave like they are in Day Care, with no proper guidance to navigate this world. Not all of us have been equipped with the best tools to run a household properly. But fret not, I have mothered myself perfectly fine for over a decade and I am here to share with you every single piece of advice I have in my vault. If you wish to ask specific questions, reply directly to this letter at any time or use this link right here. Please make use of what you believe is of us and discard anything that does not safely apply to your life. And I guess that’s advice number one: listen to advice but always follow your own intuition. Proud of you already.

To my darling children with love,

Mommy Dearest

*The following advice is intended for mature audiences. The purpose of this newsletter is to inform and entertain. Follow advice at your own risk.

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