The Dream is always the Same.

The dream is always the same…

I wake up in a bedroom I don’t recognize but it’s a dream so I go along with it.

I make the bed every morning and I brush my teeth. I pay my bills and I wash the clothes. I do the dishes and I take out the trash.

I work and I pay taxes. I call my family and use the post.

I say hi to my neighbors and I help my friends. I clean, and I pay and I smile and I wave at anyone who walks by. I exchange light politeness at the store and banal banter at the shop.

No one seems to notice. These are not my friends, or my work or my post or my neighbors.

I get back home and I open the door and I…

I find myself in a room full of people trying to take my place. Same face and hair, same gestures. Auditioning for the same role. Rehearsing the same lines.

I only have three minutes to prepare for the audition. I am sweating.

I beg for the opportunity to be Someone. Anyone.

Why am I so afraid of losing a life I never wanted to live? I didn’t chose any of these people. These chores and responsibilities are not mine to bare. I didn’t ask for them nor do I desire to keep them.

Why I am fighting so hard for a part I do not want to play…

I keep wishing I had the courage to say: WHAT THE FUCK!

• What the fuck gives you freedom.

• Freedom brings opportunity.

• Opportunity makes your future.

But I comply. What else can I do?

I keep waiting for a better moment, a better chance.

A fool proof way out. A safe idea.

A Risk Free Business. Risk Free…

Like a coward, I go back to rehearsing those lines. Who knows who they belong to, those lines. The sweat is dripping down my forehead, heart racing. I will believe anyone who can sell me certainty. Certainly, they’ll be lying. But I am stuck in this dream.

The Dream is always the same.

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