The Outsider

I took a jump across the water, just to see America.

My first morning, eyes all gunky, I did not sleep at all. I slept some on the plane. The first time I had ever flew out of my country was to come to America. Actually, it was to move to America.

I checked in the Upper West Side YMCA and I can confirm it is fun to stay there. It was for me at least. lol

I found myself a computer. In those days wifi was not a thing. YMCA had a few computers available for guests which we could only use for 30 minutes at a time before the session expired. I promptly used them to send a message to my sister. “ Ja cheguei. Estou bem e correu tudo bem. Vou tentar dormir e se conseguir falamos melhor amanha.”

I was too excited to sleep. I stayed in a tiny room with 4 other girls. It was an unassuming, double bunk bed bedroom but with a view to Central Park.

I wandered around in the city. I was too scared to take the train and too shy to call a cab (true story) so I stayed as far as my feet could take me.

“I hope we don’t lose her.” - my father said to my sister as they saw me depart. My sister confessed my father’s anguish to me a few days into my departure. “Oh, no! The streets are perfectly numbered! It’s quite impossible to get lost!” I uttered excitedly back to my sister. She smiles and nods…”Ok, good.”

It is not lost on me that that’s not what they meant. But I was that naive, that gullible. Well, idiot may be the appropriate word.

I walk down to Times Square, a veritable Disneyland for tourists and I was in heaven. It got pretty old after living in the city but boy! did I love Times Square in those days.

I started getting hungry. I had brought $100 with me and they had to last me until my first paycheck since, well… that’s all the money I had. I didn’t have a secret stash, an unknown bank account or anyone to ask for on the fly. I was alone, with two suitcases and $100.

I find a diner. I always wanted to go to a diner. I' had seen them in movies many times before so this would be the experience of a lifetime. Ah, yes! The diner!

I sit down at a booth, take my jacket and my hat off. The place was packed. Not surprising, it was mid morning in Times Square. I had never seen so many people in my life.

Did you know there’s almost as many people in Manhattan then in my whole country? Yeah, I know!

The waitress brings me a menu and a glass with icy water. I refuse it and say it must be a mistake. I didn’t order anything yet. She speaks very fast. I thought my english was very good but not Times Square waitress good. I look up at her and say I don’t want water, I didn’t order it. Finally she says, it’s free. It’s free. I think she must be used to tourists. In Portugal you must pay for water and pay extra for ice and I was on a tight budget.

After assuring me I would not have to pay for this water, I start looking at the menu. The waitress tells me about the specials but I quickly tune out because I don’t understand a word she’s saying.

I only smile and she leaves. I look at the massive menu, pages and pages of word combinations I have no clue what they mean. What are Eggs Bennedict? What is an English Muffin? What’s Rye? Texas Toast? Denver Omelette? Buffalo Wrap? Waffle Fries? Philly Cheesesteak? Ranch Dressing? Sunny Side Up? I felt so overwhelmed. And the prices…

Back home most restaurants had 10/15 items on the menu and they were all the same across restaurants. We only ate portuguese food.

The waitress came over three times before I could make a decision. I had a coke and a cheeseburger…

“Medium rare, Medium or well done?”

“Yes.”

“ French fries, curly fries, sweet potato fries or waffle fries?”

“Yes…”

“Coke, Diet Coke or Coke Zero?”

“Mmmhmmm…”

We spoke the same language.

It was not a fancy choice but I was too scared to venture outside of what I knew. I didn’t recognize most of the items and a mistake would be too costly. Besides, when in Rome…

The portions were absurd and we they offered unlimited refills on soda…I was in heaven.

I sat there watching all other patrons, satisfied with myself. Just another one of them. Like an extra in a movie. I asked for the check like a grown up. Paid the bill… and left no tip.

I’m a winner and a sinner. Do you want my autograph?

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