THE BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT

Good Morning Strangers,

This is Filipa, your favorite Real Estate Artist (and only).

It is cloudy and moody today in Rochester and I decided to show up as myself. No characters, no games, no masks, no riddles.

I woke up thinking about this expression: “Benefit of the Doubt” and why does everyone repeat it to me every time I have a gut feeling.

In every relationship, there’s an unspoken rule: the one who trusts first loses leverage. Yet women are trained to be open to faith — in people, in promises, in potential. We call it kindness. The world calls it compliance.

The serpent would’ve called it an “easy close.”

This Newsletter is Brought to you by House.Roc Real Estate Entertainment - Where Home is You & Your Gut Feelings always being on Point but you decided to ignore them coz folks said you’re crazy and you had no information.

Eve wasn’t naive — she was curious. She asked questions, she engaged, she wanted to understand the offer. The serpent didn’t overpower her; he out-pitched her. “Beguiled” is just the old word for “deception”

Eve had no concept of evil. Suspicion wasn’t in her vocabulary. Yet.

How could she question something she’d never seen? Doubt someone you never experienced. You can’t verify a risk you don’t know exists. So she did what women are still told to do: she gave someone the “Benefit of the Doubt.”

I’ve met that serpent more than once — he wears a different watch every time. He’s the client who flatters, the colleague who “means well,” the lover who asks for time.

In my few years as a Realtor, I spent most of my time dealing with clients who were not properly qualified. It’s a grave and costly mistake. Hours of unpaid labor only to find out a few months later they had no intention of buying or selling.

The worst part of it, is that in more than 80% of the time I knew that was going to be the outcome. I would receive a text or wake up in the middle of the night, worried and confused.

Something didn’t seem right.

But i would assure myself that “these things take time”, “people are busy”. “That’s just how it works.”

Give them the Benefit of the Doubt - the world would chime in.

You’ve been conditioned — as a woman, as a worker, as a dreamer — to equate suspicion with cynicism.
To doubt someone is to seem bitter.
To question a situation is to seem ungrateful. Uncertainty feels like the opposite of Faith.
So you hand over your intuition again and again, wrapping it in velvet and calling it compassion.

In other words: suspend your judgment in their favor.
It assumes that being charitable to others is always moral — even when your instincts tell you otherwise.

That’s the trap:

You give them the benefit (the profit). You keep the doubt (the cost).

They gain access, you lose clarity. It’s not a gesture of grace. It’s an uneven transaction.

High Achievers are experts in “qualifying leads.” Not just at work but in all their relationships.

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Suspicion can be branded as cynicism, but it’s really just intelligence with boundaries. It’s the quiet discipline of verification — the pause before the promise. Doubt isn’t the enemy of Faith; it’s the proof that you’re awake. The world loves to sell you openness until it meets resistance — then it calls it attitude. Bitchiness. Rudeness.

Especially if you’re a woman. Especially if you’re a good looking woman. Knowing how to qualify your leads isn’t arrogance. It’s a form of self-respect.

This has been a billion dollar lesson for me. One that cost me two decades, tears beyond measure and a lot of cash money.

Naive, gullible, wide-eyed Filipa, extreme in her Faith in God and unshakable belief that Love Conquers all: I could not get this in my head. So I hope you do:

- Qualify your Fucking Leads.

We’re give up trust in our instinct and spend months collecting red flags as evidence. Proof that of what we already knew but somehow thought we could change. The worst part? The longer you stay in this game the harder it is to pull out.

Somewhere along the way, we started treating Discernment like an insult instead of what it really is — the cost of doing business.

And women in business pay a heavier price for this: they are easier targets. It’s not an accident the serpent targeted Eve and not Adam.

Is that what growing up is? — realizing the red flags were there from the start but they felt better than a dry inbox.

Maybe you knew the client would ghost, but you had numbers to show your coach.
Maybe you knew the lover would disappoint, but you had no stories to tell the next morning.
Maybe you knew the new manager would fire you, but you were too lazy to find a new gig.

Doubt is the quiet math of how much energy you can afford to lose before you start asking questions. The fear of the vacuum — the space between offers, between closings, between attention, between hangs. The anxiety between new jobs.

We call it being “fair” or treat everyone the same. Give everyone a chance, believe the best in people. Give them the benefit of the doubt. When busyness gets applause, and silence feels like rejection. We chase connection the way agents chase commission — fast, wild, and always one showing away from regret.

Maybe that’s what keeps repeating — the same story, the same sale, the same relationship.

“This time will be different. Elevate your frequency. Manifest the Ideal Partner/ Business/ Body/ House. Believe. Trust. Have Faith. God will not fail you.”

But God says this:

Why did Eve think the apple was better than paradise? Maybe for the same reason we all do — it looked like progress. It looked like success. It looked like movement.

It looked like you could be the one to change things.

For your family, for your children, for your clients, for your brokerage…

It looked like Purpose - but it wasn’t.

I made this as part of the Dream Catcher System — a unique and fully integrated Goal Setting System.
Before you can chase a dream, you have to filter the noise around it.
These are the questions I use to qualify who gets access — to my time, my trust, my energy.
They work in business, in love, in collaboration — anywhere you need to know who’s real.
Thirteen questions, a conversation guide, and a short manual on how to read people without losing yourself.

→ Unlock the Field Manual
Learn the 13 questions that reveal more than small talk ever could — and how to read the answers in real time. PDF also available.

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