The Good American

✨ 3.14.11 ✨ 

✨ The Outsider Special Edition! 14 years of America ✨ 

“As far back as I can remember, I always wanted to be an american. To me, be an american was better than any other title. Way before I even met any of them or stepped foot in their land, I knew I wanted to be like them. It was there I belonged.

To me it meant being a somebody in a world of nobodies. They weren’t like anyone else. They did whatever they wanted. They could travel anywhere, and they passport was a free ticket to anywhere. They money was the standard which all other moneis would be measured to. They could roam free and no one would give them a ticket or get them in trouble.

Looking at them through my TV, I would watch them like a hawk, copying their every move. Memorizing all they lines.

Their politicians rans the world, and they was the boss of everybody in the neighborhood. America could even move slow, but that’s because she didn’t have to move for nobody.

At first my parents didn’t care. They thought the TV was entertaining and it would keep me out of trouble. It was better than thinking about boys or smoking behind the church.

I would dream of my american name, and my american accent and my american friends. I was the luckiest girl in the world. I could be anything, dream any dream. I knew everybody there, and everybody knew me.

But it wasn’t too long before my parents changed they mind. They thought this was a passing fancy, A phase. A kids dream.

But to me, it was my full-time job.

People can never understand, but I was part of something. Something bigger than me, that God created. Every day she was teaching me to dream.

My mother was always pissed off. Pissed off she had to do all the chores, pissed off she had to be a mother and a wife, pissed off at herself mostly coz she wasn’t allowed to things. or somtyhing like that. But she was mostly pissed off I dared to dream. “that’s not for people like you”- she would beat this words into me. With her hands and shoes and whatever else. “You’re nothing but a lazy bum and you’ll go nowhere if you keep staring at that TV.”

But I didn’t care. I didn’t care how many beatings and hurling insults I took, or how many jokes were made at my expense in school. I didn’t even listen. To me, that’s the price you pay to be the best. That’s the admission to be an american.”

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