A REALTOR CALLED REGINA

 “THE AGENT” E3S2

“A REALTOR CALLED REGINA”

Scene 1 - Regina conducts a client consultation:

INT. REAL ESTATE OFFICE EARLY AM 

Regina (professionally) - Talk to me. How can I help? 

Client- My husband, well Ex-husband… (emotional) I don’t even know how to say it… I moved here for him. We got married, we built a life. We have… had, a beautiful marital home. But after we got married, everything changed. When I started seeking counseling to leave him, things went from bad to worse. Long story short…

Regina - You don’t need to shorten your story… I have time.

Client - My husband, ex-husband, well, we are fighting for this house. Through the divorce it was agreed I would keep the house but he immediately stopped payments on it and I am trying to sell it to liquidate my debts, pay off the mortgage. Get a fresh start. I can’t afford the mortgage on my own. I have tried to speak to other realtors and no one is even taking my calls. No one wants to represent me against, you know, my husband (flustered) Ex-husband. Being that he is a broker himself and knows everyone in this town. It seems like realtors here all protect each other, I don’t know if you feel that way?

Regina - I can’t say I do. I can’t say I don’t either (laughs).

Client - (confused)The house is being foreclosed on. I feel like my hands are tied. The clock is ticking, time is running out… I don’t want a foreclosure on my record, I don’t want my name being dragged through the mud. I work, I pay my bills on time. But I have to sell this house.

Regina - That’s understandable.

Client - I take it you don’t know my husband?

Regina- No, I’m what you would call an “outsider”. (Regina makes air quotes)

Client - So, where do we start… Have you had any foreclosure cases before?

Regina- No, this would be my first case.

Client -Your first? What have your other sales been like? Auctions? Short sales? Bank Owned?

Regina- No, none of those.

Client- But you’ve done normal sales? First time buyers? Rentals?

Regina- Nope, nothing like that.

Client- You are a Real Estate Agent, aren’t you?

Regina- Yes, absolutely! She smiles

Client- Oh, good! (client sighs of relief)
Regina- Well, technically speaking this would be my first foray into the real estate ring.

Client- First Time? What kind of real estate do you practice?

Regina- Up until now, real personal affairs (laughs). (Pause) Any more questions?

Client- How… How long have you actually been in business?

Regina- Six, maybe seven… No, Six weeks now.

Client- Weeks? (desperate) I thought you’ve had your license for 3 years? What have you been doing for 3 years?

Regina- This and that… Mostly… preparing.

Client- Preparing for what?

Regina- For my first transaction.

Client- 3 years preparing? 

Regina- Tell me about it! To be honest I didn’t really do well with my first client.

Client- Oh?

Regina- With my second one neither.

Client- Third time's the charm, right…?

Regina- No, not for me. For me it was 25. 25 is the charm. Fingers crossed! I’m a slow learner but my grandma always told me there was nothing wrong with me.

Client- This just keeps getting worse (hands in her head, in desperation)

Regina- No, I think this is it. This is as bad as it gets.

REGINA GETS A PHONE CALL:

Regina- Excuse me, I have to take this.

Regina listens and grows impatient. The calls has her visibly upset. She hangs up.

Regina (angry)- I don’t need this. I swear to God I don’t need this. I got people just aching to send me to real estate jail. An idiot who’s threatening to call my broker over a facebook comment. Offers that don’t get accepted, clients that yell at me over the phone, colleagues stealing my clients, realtors stealing my business plans. (gets up) I haven’t eaten in 5 days, I got no money. A dress code problem, a pending divorce, not to mention my biological clock, my career, half my family who just decided to stop speaking to me… And now this Eviction Notice!!! Let me see, what else can I pile on, is there any more shit I can pile on top of the outcome of this deal?

Calm, to the client:

Regina- Do you have any idea what it's like being a Realtor? Being so correct all the time, being so stifled by this dread of, of doing the wrong thing, of saying to someone "Good morning ladies" and hearing "We’re a non-binary couple and your assumption is grounds for lawsuit" or saying, uh, "This could be a great nursery" and being told “we’ve been trying for 3 years but we’re barren”. Doors that don’t open, infested basements, clients that lead you on with no intention of buying anything. I rather just get punched straight in the face then have one more deal fall through. We're all so terrified of embarrassment. That's why we're so... dead. Most realtors are dead, you know, they’re just these piles of corpses walking around the office. But you're alive, God bless you, and I want to be, I'm so fed up with all this. (Pause.)

Regina (to Client) -So, are we ready to sign some paperwork today? Smiles

Follow on Instagram

*The following advice is intended for mature audiences. The purpose of this newsletter is to inform and entertain. Any similarity to actual events is pure coincidence.

Do you know anyone looking for a realtor? Share our info!

Looking for your way Home? Click here.

Need daily inspiration to reach your goals, follow us on Instagram!

For personal insights follow me on X

Share this Newsletter with the world if you find it useful!

You are receiving this email because our paths crossed somewhere along the way. I am Real Estate agent licensed in the State of NY with Keller Williams of Greater Rochester. Check this for our fair housing disclosure and this for our SOP.