Win-Win-Win

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I am drafting my 5-year plan. My 10-year plan. My long-term vision board. For years, I have been playing with this art from called scripting for life. A concept I think I invented myself. I write my life like storyboards and then I go and live them like an acting exercise.

And the strangest, most vulnerable part of the whole thing isn’t the goals, or the timelines, the stories or the characters. My imagination is abundant. It’s not even the ambition, which bubbles up inside of me, easy.

It’s the ending.

I didn’t expect the happy ending to be the hardest place to arrive.
You’d think the struggle chapters would be the ones that choke me up, but no — it’s the ending, the one place where I actually get everything I’ve prayed for, worked for, fought for. It’s embarrassing, honestly, how hard it is to write myself happy.

There’s a fear in it.
A superstition. A quiet disbelief that whispers, “Don’t jinx it. Don’t dream too clearly. Don’t make it too real.”

So I sit there with my pen, tapping, circling, hesitating. It feels like standing at the threshold of my own life and being too afraid to walk in.
I’ve lived so long in survival mode that the idea of a peaceful ending feels foreign, almost suspicious.
As if writing myself victorious meant daring the universe to snatch it away.

But then something strange happens. My hand starts to move on its own.

At first it’s a twitch — a pulse — almost like my future pulling the pen forward.
I feel the resistance in my fingers, the tight hold I have on the story, on the control, on the parts of me that want everything to be predictable and “safe.”

But my pen demands freedom.

My hand keeps pushing, nudging, asking for permission to write the ending I’ve been too afraid to imagine.

I loosen my fingers. I let the pen slip into its own rhythm.
I let myself surrender to the possibility, suddenly the ending pours out.

In the end…
in the end…
in the end…

I win.

And my pen doesn’t stop.
It writes the victory again and again, as if engraving it into reality

I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win
I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win
I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win
I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win
I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win
I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win
I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win
I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win
I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win I win…

And in the end… I win.

With all my heart — thank you. Your support steadies me. Your attention reminds me I’m not creating into a void. Upwards, always. Your truly, Filipa 💋

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